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passive aggressive gaslighting cool baby clothes

Monday, December 05, 2011

today i am trying to come up with some imagery for the i heart dirty boys with no money shirt. i've had more than my fair share of them. i don't know why. really. i like wealthy men. i like clean men. i do! this shirt has very little to do with baby clothes or toddler clothes or kidswear. although perhaps i will catch my tween in it.

a friend posted this article last week on her fb page.
and i was amazed a dude had written it. that makes him rather hot in my book.
he was right on. men more often than women participate in this demoralizing behavior. and such a rude reaction to someone else's feelings.
over time i have come to recognize that i tend to be a lot less attentive to people's needs and this gets me in quite a bit of trouble. i just have difficulty focusing on all the required social behaviors that are necessary to interacting with folks who are more in tune with these social nuances.

i get hit up at least once a week with some criticism on my lack of attention or my tone of voice or my general rudeness or on something i may have said. i admit to having a slightly abrasive personality but i do try to make efforts at conveying more warmth, more caring, more attentiveness to those around me.

often when i receive these criticisms i feel internally that the person is WAY TOO SENSITIVE/judgmental and has misunderstood my intentions.

but when a person criticizes me for my behavior or lack of attentiveness or because i am late once again or because i did not thank them enough or because they felt uncared for i cannot imagine being so rude as to voice my inner thoughts....'you are so sensitive'.

yesterday i received an earful from a male i am working with on a video. i felt terrible that i had upset him. i also thought he was just way too sensitive. but, i cannot imagine voicing these thoughts out loud when he has taken the step to voice his displeasure with me. when someone, especially a female, gets up the courage to voice their displeasure it seems cruel to belittle their efforts and to discard their hurt.

all one needs do is acknowledge the pain or irritation one has caused and then make an effort to determine what the other person's boundaries and limits are. or am i way oversimplifying this task? and on the person who is constantly hurt by others, maybe the people around you really have no malice towards you. maybe you could give them the benefit of the doubt. just voice your displeasure. 'this behavior has made me feel this way. could you please make an effort not to do that around me." a statement without judgment on their character...

just ranting. anyway, good article. not at all one about baby clothing or hip toddler clothes but a good read nonetheless on where passive aggressive behavior originates (and btw, in my opinion men are some of the worst offenders of PAB.)

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