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Please stop with the damn pool parties

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

OK, I admit it. These days I am not delighted at the prospect of slipping into my swimsuit and sliding into a chlorinated pool. Not at the top of my lists. If there is a pool birthday party I usually send Jim to it. This time he was out of town and I was cornered. I mean, Ava's first invite to a birthday party at her new school. I barely had time to pull together a gift and gmap the pool before it was time to depart. Running around I realized that I had declared my one piece black swimsuit too small and quarantined it permanently to the basement. This meant that all I could pull out was the bottom part of my 1950s hamburger swimsuit and my EGAD string bikini...and let me tell you, the last thing I wanted to do after having 2 kids and having breast fed both of them was to don a fucking STRING BIKINI in front of all the parents. But, I had not been in a pool with Ava in a couple of years and she was begging me and I had Atticus who loves swimming so I took a very deep breath indeed and slipped into it.
Now, you would think that at a swim party there would be some parents in the pool, right? At least the host, right? Not this one. Nope, not this one. Ava is begging me to come into the pool and watch her go down the slide and put her head underwater and dog paddle. Plllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeee mom. You never come into the water with me.
I look over at the row of white plastic chairs lined up neatly at the edge of the pool filled with moms and dads from Ava's class.
I look over at my daughter's pleading eyes.
I sashay over to the shower room, remove my outerlayer, cover with a towel and sashay 'casually' past that row of dry, comfortable moms and dads.
I remove my towel and feel the spotlight on my bod making me overheat.
I jump in the pool.
I do this twice during the party because Atticus wakes up and wants to go swimming and I have never been in the water with him.
And, I know what all you moms out there are saying about being proud of your body. I am proud of my body because I can't believe it spit out two healthy kids at my age and made milk for them and is still looking fine in a pair of jeans but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD and all that is good and kind...
Stop with the freaking pool parties.