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Experts?!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I have a problem when it comes to dealing with people who declare themselves experts in a field. I grew up with an astronuclear physicist as a father and a mathematician as a mother and although I may not have inherited much in the way of the brain cells residing in the left hemisphere, I did manage to develop a keen sense of what it sounds like when people really know what they are talking about.
It is particularly difficult to propel oneself through an onslaught of verbiage designed to make one feel foolish for not doing something that is obvious (I can't believe you haven't done THAT yet!), that is so necessary to one's success, that if done correctly will guarantee improvement and if NOT done guarantees one's demise.
One begins to distrust one's own gut & sense of self. One wants so much to turn it all over to an expert who can guide one through these difficulties one faces. One just wants it off one's plate. To be led by the hand.
But, the more I listen, the more my gut resists. When presented with one's weaknesses and 'given' the opportunity to invest in success, one SO desperately wants to make the right decision. To listen to the experts. But, after having lived with my parents, experts in their fields, the one thing I learned was that an expert, a true expert never says that there is only one path, one way; their way. An expert is ever curious as to alternative passages and journeys to their area of expertise. Perhaps this is what makes them experts.
And, through studying marketing I have learned that sounding like an expert on your product (there must not be any hesitation when promoting or defending it) is a basic tenet of good salesmanship. A good salesman will, without any hesitation at all, back his/her product and declare the potential buyer's life so lacking without it and make the buyer feel silly or less than for not purchasing the product and will talk about the change the buyer will feel if the product is purchased.
Of course, in some cases this may very well be true. So if while questioning the person trying to sell you their services in depth, if your gut starts revolting, it is probably churning in reaction to something that is ringing false. Are they not listening to you? Do they hold your ideas in contempt? Do they make you feel less than? All big signs. If something is right for you it will ring true, make you feel more whole, hold your ideas with respect and add to them.
So, I admit that I become obnoxiously stubborn when told I must do something some particular way or fail.

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