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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Mike Ryan's blog is worth the read. I love someone who can sift through all the information out there for ya.
Had a sample sale with some ladies and it was a blast. Will be out on Alberta Street on last Thursday selling my wares and inhaling lots of beer in the hot sun.
It is very hot here. Ava couldn't fall asleep last night. We spent lots of time in the back yard under our shady pine tree name of Henrietta. Mom flying in tomorrow afternoon.
Bookkeeping getting under control.
More laters...

Ticketmaster Evil

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

So I purchased these tickets for Dad's Day for Jim cause Ava could come to and then I got this email:
On 6/20/06, Notification wrote:

Hello, this is Ticketmaster Customer Service with an important alert for your upcoming event. MODEST MOUSE, scheduled at HISTORIC EDGEFIELD MANOR on THURSDAY AUGUST 10 , 2006 at 6:30PM has been cancelled.

Your credit card will automatically be credited the ticket price and convenience charges, and should post to your account within 7 to 10 business days. Please note, the $3.50 per order processing fee and any ticketFast or UPS delivery charges are non-refundable.

If you have any questions, please contact us online at:
Thank you for using Ticketmaster. We appreciate your business!

I can't believe they are keeping the freaking processing fees. I just gave them $7 to be told I am a loser for buying tickets through them. What a scam.

Cover to Jim's book

Jim just sent me an email that said "I want to stick my head in a microwave and kill myself". Attached was this photo his editor had sent him of the cover of his first novel.

 World Leader Pretend redone coverI laughed out loud. I am still laughing...that's what happens I guess when your book doesn't get any budget. I told him to ask her if we could design it ourselves. Maybe if we added in an eagle flying across the moon or a camel off in the distance?

craigslist documentary

I was filmed on the day they made this and thought that I hadn't made it into the cut as I didn't show up in the feature. I was actually quite relieved because I had breastfed on camera. You know when you are breastfeeding it feels perfectly natural (and it is!) to pull down your shirt and brandish a tit for your little one. My breasts had become udders in the purest sense (nipples mangled, touched 24 hours a day) and not sexual in the least to me. But, now, three years later, when I thought of watching my boobies up on a 20 foot screen I just shrank into my skin. Then Klutch wrote me to say he had seen me in the film. The filmakers were so cool and sent me over a copy of the dvd telling me I had made it into the second disc of special features. It took me a full week to get up the nerve to view it. I thought perhaps I never would. You know how awful it is to watch oneself on film.
Alone for a moment, I slipped it in and I waited for my boobies to make an appearance. I cringed when I called Michael Chabon (ok, I never read any of his stuff) a cheap champagne and that I was still declaring myself an artist and that I laughed in a fake manner but they didn't show my breasts and I was so grateful to them. Kiss to you movie makers!

Setting Goals

So, in our small business class we spent 40 minutes writing out our goals for our business. In doing so and recounting them to a person in the class I came to this weird realization...Most people wanted wealth, time to do what they really enjoyed, security. I wanted to create a company that made some small difference in how businesses were run. I suppose when I was getting my MBA my cohorts were really into doing this. I was a Farber intern for a nonprofit. My favorite professors were all people who were into teaching about a sustainable business model. I knew it was the direction I wanted to go. Then I got pulled into making money for the dotcoms....for search tools in particular....I got lost for awhile.

And, in writing out my goals I come to a deeper personal understanding. It isn't fully about making a difference...I can be honest with myself...it is also about earning the respect of others and of myself (ok, I sometimes don't respect myself.) And I look back and think about the trauma of middle and high school and college. I think about my dad who thought I was such a failure. I think of being such a freaking loser throughout my 20s binge drinking, wasting time, pretending to be an 'artist' but did it more for the lifestyle of being able to excuse myself for most of my selfish behaviors and I understand now what drives me and maybe I am still in high school trying to prove something. How I should be on one of those TV shows where the GEEK, LOSER woman shows up and says hey, look what I have done. Aren't I cool now? Don't you want to take me to the prom and be my friend now? But she is still a loser geek and everyone viewing the show knows this and feels kind of sorry for her because the only group she could still be in is the marching band filled with losers and even in this fringe group she can only be an alternate marcher because she was so damn uncoordinated. Plus, she wields a flute.

And, I also more fully understand my severe reaction to Tanya on my birthday; disrespecting me in front of my friends and in my home. That is one button that blows me. Punch it and I lose it. Otherwise I am a very nice, reasonable person.

These are all personal revelations that I know I shouldn't be publishing online but see, this is the weird thing, the dual nature of every person. On the one hand I want respect but on the other I go out of my way to lose it. Sort of like, how much of a loser can I be and still gain any respect? You know, like pushing your boyfriend as far away as possible to test him. Can you tell I am in a way self-absorbed place right now?

I am using the lady comp and realize that I ovulate like two days after my period ends. Wow.

Jim is almost done with his second novel. Two weeks....his editor asked him for a picture. He wants to send one of the back of his head in front of a computer screen, appropriate for a book on gaming addicts.

Calling in a designer because oh my god...you should see the stuff we are going to do for FALL.

New artists are coming on board.

Maybe thinking of leasing a space.

I love making new stuff.

What drives you? If you have your own business or are self-employed...what are your long term goals, what do you want out of your work? Tell me some secrets...some good stuff now....

Daily Quote from Dear Abby disturbing

Friday, June 16, 2006

I found this in a yahoo news story/dear abby column about some sod who went around every week and forced all his coworkers to look at photos of his new kid. At the bottom of the column was this quote:
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: "It has been said that man is the only animal who laughs, the only one who weeps, the only one who prays, the only one who walks fully erect, the only one who makes fires, the only one who can invent, the only one with a written language, the only one who is proud, the only one who can make progress, the only one who guides his own destiny, the only one who is penitent, and the only one who needs to be." -- DAVID ELTON TRUEBLOOD

Really turned me off. So American. So thoughtless. So indicative of our current state of being.

Small Shows

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Jennifer and I did a couple of shows this weekend. The Organic Beer Festival was pretty pricey for what it was. We were hidden inside a building where no one could find us. We kept hearing laughter and music drifting in from outside and I finally asked if we could move into the sun. We got the thumbs up and found a nice little spot and started to have a bit more fun but still no sales. We packed up 3 hours early and left. Would recommend this show only to people who are selling beer and food.
We did craftiness and had a blast. Not many sales but it is just so much fun hanging out with cool vendors.
We are adding a new artist, looking at some sewing equipment and adding some new stuff on our site.
Alison, the woman we just hired whom we adore is moving to the east coast. Of course, we are bummed but are trying to weather the pain of having her for such a short time.
I like The National. I listened to them while getting my new tattoo; an anatomically correct heart with an oak tree with four branches growing out of it. I got it with my best friend Kelley. She spent the week with me and I already miss her. I am just so glad to have someone that knows me so well and understands pretty much what I am thinking. Plus, we generate some groovy stuff together. I am working on her about moving here but I know her heart is in SF. We figured out while she was here that we were actually in the same band in 7th grade and shared a common friend. Funny.
The heart and the oak tree came from our love of trees. For me it symbolizes how we need to nurture and love the natural world around us or we will not survive. Our hearts are intimately intertwined with the natural world. The health of our world to me is represented by the well being of our trees. Right now, my tree has only one single red leaf left on it.
Why am I a vegan? I don't believe I am a true vegan as others are. I am disgusted by how the animals are treated before they die. I agree with Inga that we are eating bad death when we eat meat. But, I do not believe it is wrong to eat animals or animal products if the animals are treated with respect and are thanked for all that they provide for us. I also feel strongly that I take so much from our planet, being a vegan is my one small effort at using up valuable resources. I also have to admit that every once in awhile I do eat cheese and butter.

Small Business Development Class

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Will get some more information on it but it is given through PCC and offered through the SBD office. The class is pricey but I have only attended one class and one counseling session and already earned that $ back. They sent their quickbooks expert in to look at my books and after a long discussion we decided that I didn't have to keep inventory in QB. This alone will save me around 20 hours a week in paperwork...the work I hate the most. Plus, it will allow me to begin to see the light of day, find out where I am financially, do some forecasting and actually form a business plan. Woo Hoo.
What else? Met with a ton of wonderful ladies last night. Dana from Baby Star, Violet from Kung Fu Bambini, Sarah from Black Wagon, Jennifer from Dishy Duds, Kristin from GoGooseGo and more. I had a bit of fun, actually a lot of fun. They are so inspirational. Plus, we are all at about the same place growth wise right now. So many exciting things happening with these ladies. I feel lucky to be included in this whirlwind of activity. Jennifer is going on TV, there are some exciting partnerships in the works, a couple of new stores opening. Hip Hop.
I am bummed because a space opened up in this warehouse I have been trying to get into but my employees never gave me the message. Violet from Kung Fu Bambini was super fast and picked it up. At least someone cool got it and we are all having a sample sale in their warehouse since two people from the group now have their businesses located there.
But, yes I am looking. We decided that we should sell the house and get our capital out of it and put it back into the business. Now that time is opening up for me and I have all these ideas...
We finished up our final garage sale and are about settled into our new home. We absolutely love it. Even if, during the first week our hot water heater flooded our basement and our washer was throwing itself around and we still don't have lights in places, or shelving in our vanity and our dishwasher didn't have the right hook up; I am in love with the house.
This morning I woke up and smelled summer flowing in through our open window on a gentle breeze. Birds were singing and chirping (they have a small nest with newborns on our front porch) and a tree strokes the skylight in our attic roof when the wind rustles it. I love it. I am so much happier. We all are. Having community around you makes all the difference in the world. I somehow feel like we landed the perfect house in the perfect place for this period of time.
So, I am positive about the outlook of the future to come. It has been a long time since I have had that feeling of hope about my business. Mostly I have felt as though I have simply been trying to excavate myself from massive amounts of paperwork and human resource issues. So, yeah for this class.